When you think things can’t get much worse, they usually do

Jim’s oldest sister called today to tell us that their middle sister had a baby early this morning. We didn’t even know that she was pregnant. Without going into details, I’ll just say that she and Jim had a falling out right after Honor was born. It was the one and only time that she’s even seen him. Since then it’s caused the whole family to feel caught in the middle. They have been forced to choose sides, more often than not, it hasn’t been Jim’s side. (I don’t totally KNOW why, but I guess that they’ve been put in an impossible situation and maybe they know that Jim can take it? Because he can. I can’t, but he can.)

I’m writing today because my heart is broken. I’ve got two nephews that I’m just in love with that I never see and may never again see. I’ve now got a little niece that I will probably never know. My kids will never have the joy of growing up with their cousins. They will never know their aunt, who despite her problems, is such a cool person. It just kills me that our nephews probably don’t even remember us anymore. We couldn’t even send them a birthday present because no one would tell us where they were.

Today, that should be so full of joy over the start of a new life, is filled with so much sorrow and heart ache. It just really really hurts. Life just isn’t worth holding grudges. It’s not worth all this pain. It’s not worth our kids missing out on vital relationships.

I just want to say, wherever you are, we love you. We’ve always loved you and all we’ve ever wanted for you is happiness. If us not being in your life, means your happiness, then we’re willing to deal with that. But I just want you to know that we still care so very much. And that we care so very much about your children. It is my deepest hope that someday there can be healing in your relationship with your brother.

Category: ouch 7 comments »

7 Responses to “When you think things can’t get much worse, they usually do”

  1. Elaine

    oh, hon. That just breaks my heart! I hope all can be mended someday. Hugs to you and yours.

  2. sarahgrace

    That breaks my heart too, Allie. I will keep you all in my prayers. I too hope things are mended between ALL of you!
    Love, Sarah

  3. Lucimama

    **Big big hugs**

    You know, I’ve been thinking about these sorts of family issues myself in the last few days, specifically, about my sons’ relationships (or lack thereof) with their cousins and grandfather.

    It hurts, not to have the best for your children, who you love so devotedly. And it hurts for you, not to have your love reflected back to you. And it’s infuriating, sometimes, not being able to protect the people we love…..

    *sigh* I’ll send you some love and good vibes, and trust you’ll do the same for me. I’m walking into a somewhat similar situation on Sunday afternoon, and I’m accepting good vibes from anyone and everyone.

    I hope you write more about this heartbreak. Telling your sorrows cuts them in half, I’ve heard.


  4. kelli

    Sorry your having family conflict. Thats so hard. I’ll be praying for you guys:0) Don’t you wish everyone could just get along!

  5. holli

    I have so much of the same situations in my family.. At least being on the side of those who want the best for everyone – and having an open heart full of love – well, it might not fix things, but it matters.

  6. Christa

    Wow, that seriously brought tears to my eyes. You’re such a good person. We’re in a similar situation w/hubby’s family, so I understand where you’re coming from.

    I’m sorry this is causing you so much pain. Hopefully you guys will be able to work it out in the end.


  7. ordinary girl

    it’s so easy as an outsider to say – go mend that rift – hurry – before time flies by! but i’m sure there is much behind the rift, there usually is. good luck and i hope it mends sooner than later!

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