to whom it may concern
Dear people of who drive on my streets,
Please drive carefully. I know it is easy to think this, but you are not the only one on the road. Please watch for stop signs. You’re really supposed to stop at them. Especially if you are downtown, please stop. I see you running them everyday, but they really are there for a reason.
Please watch for red lights. You’re really supposed to stop for these too. Especially if you are an 18 wheeler, please stop, you almost killed my family yesterday. (We’re talking almost as in you missed them by mere feet.) I kind of like them and they kind of like me and we’d sort of like to stay together if that’s all the same to you. I know you are bigger than everything else, but really, the laws still do apply to you. It’s surprising, I know.
Please check your blind spot before changing lanes. You’re really supposed to do this, especially if you are a big fancy-pants SUV. I know this is an irksome task, but if you crash into my meager Honda, it will probably leave a dent in your big fancy-pants SUV. I like my meager Honda as-is and I’m willing to bet you like your big fancy-pants SUV the way it is too.
Please just be very careful in general. I know someday I’m going to die and someday you’re going to die too. I just don’t want it to be because you couldn’t stop when you really should have.
Sincerely,
Allison
Category: daily 4 comments »
August 22nd, 2006 at 5:50 pm
Can I add that the stick that comes out of the steering wheel has a purpose? As in to let others on the road know what your intentions are?
August 22nd, 2006 at 6:18 pm
And I will add (aside from the fact that I am REALLY glad they missed you, Allison), that the speed on Unaweep Ave. actually is NOT 105 mph….
August 23rd, 2006 at 12:05 am
Glad everyone survived for you to rant about it instead of something more lifechanging than outrage. *sigh of relief*
Anyhow, you go get ‘em!
August 23rd, 2006 at 12:53 pm
I love that your google ad for that post is (at the moment) for potty training, very apt for that feeling of loose bowel-y-ness that those traffic closecalls engender.