I packed up the kids today around 1pm to go shopping. I’ve been putting it off and we were down to our last can of frozen juice. Things get bad around here when we’re out of apple juice.

First we headed off to the bank to put our whopping check from our refinance into the bank. Which, sadly, will only go to pay off debt. Boo. Then we headed to Vitamin Cottage. Every time I feed my children a graham cracker, I feel like I’m sinning against my healthy upbringing, so I needed to get the kids some healthy, sugar free, whole grain snacks. Eden was very excited about the healthy bunny shaped mac and cheese. (And now you know what’s for lunch tomorrow.)

Being so close to Michaels, I just couldn’t resist. I mean, who could blame me? With on sale yarn right next door, how could I NOT go? Really. (Jim would say it’s part of my disease.) But, I will have you know, I did manage to keep myself out of Old Navy. It was hard, but I think I will recover.

At this point in the trip, things weren’t going that bad. I got the kids a fruit leather (all natural) at Vitamin Cottage and they were still digesting when we got into the car. And this is where I made my biggest mistake. We went to Evil Wal-Mart. Well, it was the point of the trip, to buy food, but still….Evil Wal-Mart at 1:30ish in the afternoon, I’m crazy. I would have been happy to go home and live off saltines for at least another 24 hours, I had new yarn. But one little whine from Honor reminded me that we were dangerously low on juice. So off we went to EVIL WAL-MART.

See, the problem with waiting till way past the last minute to grocery shop is that you have to marathon grocery shop. Since everything in the house has been eaten, including the yellow mustard, there’s a lot of shopping that needs to be done. Herein lies the problem….Honor can only sit still for about 2.4 seconds. We were at Evil Wal-Mart for over an hour. I pulled out every trick in the book and we were only on aisle 9. I finally stooped so low as to open the bag of raisins and that kept him at bay for 4 minutes. And I can officially say that it takes 4 whole minutes for a 1 year old boy to dump a whole box of raisins all over Evil Wal-Mart.

So somehow, through all the screaming and kicking in the Kid Fight Carts we managed to make it to the checkout line. The checkout line. Yeah. Where you’re supposed to check out, right? It’s more like the wait in line for FIVE HUNDRED YEARS line. Seriously, does Evil Wal-Mart hate me that much? I spent $163.00 there today, why would they do that to me? Why? WHY? How in the world do they expect two little children in kicking distance from each other to not scream? I wanted to scream.

Needless to say, from this day forward, I solemnly vow to ALWAYS shop alone. ALONE, I say.