It’s been a difficult week for me. And of course I can’t write about much of it. I continue to be frustrated that I can’t turn to this blog when I really need it. And I really don’t know what to do… I’m seriously about to say eff it all and write whatever the hell I want. (And you thought I already did that!)

I think part of my problem is that I am such an emotional and sensitive person. It’s something that I can’t change about myself and something that I’m trying to use as a strength rather than a weakness. Sometimes things just effect me more than they do others. Sometimes things effect me A LOT more than they do others. But I’m trying to realize that I can’t shut myself down. I can’t close myself off to the world as much as I sometimes want to. So I remain open, open to hurts and heartaches and anguish. I’m not sure what the positive to that is yet, but I’m learning to not fight it and instead work with it.

Right now, some people are coming back into our lives that have been fairly absent in the past few years. I’m having a hard time accepting that our relationships with these people are just how. they. are. I’m having a hard time with being manipulated and pushed aside until I’m needed. And I’m pissed that I can’t write about the whole fracking thing.

So I guess that I just came here to throw a pity party and a temper tantrum and it’s probably best that I don’t even hit publish. But I’m going to anyway. Because, today, I guess I want to be a spoiled brat.