The kids are still struggling, each in their own ways. Though, I will say they are doing better than I had anticipated. Eden is very sad, yet coming to acceptance. She thinks Jim’s choice to leave is really dumb and has theories that someone is forcing him to stay away. (Oh, dear one, you are too smart.) Honor has been showing his grief through his actions and has been getting into a lot of trouble both at school and at home. I’m working to find ways to help him express his feelings other than just being naughty. He is such a 7 year old boy.

They both really cling to me and I am so thankful that I am healthy and able to be here for them. These past 2.5 years have afforded me the opportunity to get most of my grieving out of the way and work on myself (I still am with a wonderful therapist) and I am just so thankful for that. That time in limbo was so valuable for my healing – time I would never take back as horrible as being in limbo is. This is such a difficult time of life, but I continue to see signs that even this has been orchestrated, like a brilliant story. And I can feel the good, peaceful times not far around the bend.

Category: Kids, me 2 comments »

2 Responses to “[surrounded]”

  1. Brooke

    Just thought of this while reading your post, (don’t know why I didn’t during our trek to Ridgeway), have you considered taking the kids to your (or a) therapist/counselor. I know how much you have been able to heal and deal with it through that avenue.

    I know the counselors at my schools have all been great to help kids deal with divorced parents, and your neighbor across the way (R) might have better insight on who would be good for them, or even family (you and the kids) counseling.

    As you and I both know, this is such a hard thing for a child to handle, regardless of their age, and the scars of it are left for a life time. But helping them through this process of healing and understanding, continual reminders that they are valuable and loved, the decision is not because of them, hopefully helps the scars become less deep.

  2. Hannah

    I’ve never been in your spot, but I feel your heart through your words. And my heart hurts for your family. I see this a lot in my class kiddos, but it never lessens the seriousness of situation, no matter how many times you see it. However, I know you’re a tenacious spirit (no, I don’t know you)—through all of your other posts & peeks into your life & you will pull through this moment. It’s not forever & I’m imagining that you’ll have a fair measure of dignity & grace to serve you in this. There are more people who care than you realize & I know I’m cheering for you!

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