We’ve decided to stop going to our church. Man, it’s been such a difficult decision – church shouldn’t cause this much stress! It just comes to a point where there’s so much weighing on you and you have to make a decision. We’ve been to so many churches in our married life and we really wanted to stick this one out. And we just couldn’t. Really we’re not leaving our church; our church left us. The whole entire pastoral staff is different than when we started going there. It’s a totally different place. And it’s really a lot more painful that I thought it would be.

So we’re left trying to figure out where we should be now. Although my bad experiences with church outweigh the good ones, I still feel it’s important (oh, how I wish I didn’t.) But I’m not going to play church anymore. I want something real. Church isn’t meant to be a place that does nothing but make you feel guilty and unwelcome. It should be just the opposite: accepting (really accepting) people for WHO. THEY. ARE. and accepting them with open arms.

There’s a few things I need and I don’t want to compromise on those anymore. (In order of importance.)

1. A church that is doing something BIG in the community. What is the point of church if it’s so totally inwardly focused that it doesn’t see the needs of the community around it? Feeding the homeless is WAY more Gods work than preaching a lengthy sermon.

2. A sense of community. I need to feel like I’m wanted and loved and like I belong. I don’t want to be another face in the crowd. I want to pour my heart into it, but I want to know that when I need something, it will be there for me too.

3. A safe, fun, organized place for my kids. (You’d be surprised how hard this is to come by.)

4.God. I see a trend in the post-modern church, and it kind of scares me. People come to church because they want God, and when they listen to the sermon and a Bible is not cracked open once, it makes me think that they’re not getting what they need. (I put this fourth because I can get this on my own. But I want a church that values the word of God above all else.)

5. I don’t even know if this belongs on the list, but it is really important to me. I want a pastor who respects my time. I think it is possible to preach a fantastic sermon in 30 minutes. The average adult doesn’t even have an attention span much longer than that. I find it to be disrespectful to keep a congregation sitting there for 2 hours.

I could probably add a lot more, but these are the deal breakers. Now I have to go about finding this imaginary place…. and isn’t that going to be fun…..