Apparently if you work at Hot Topic, it’s ok to walk around with your love handles and butt crack hanging out.

Target does not want to sell clothes to women, because in the dressing room the have so many mirrors that you can’t help but see your whole entire body at the same time. No one wants to see that much of themselves at once.

Starbucks makes kid drinks, little milk steamers with flavor syrup.

Eden and Honor will inevitably spill their little milk steamers at Target, at the same time, on the floor.

Jim is NOT fun to be around if he has been at the mall for more than one hour, even if you bribe him with computer games and coffee.

I am coming to believe that clothing manufacturers have something personally against me and my body. Everything I try on is either too loose, too tight, or too short. It’s near impossible to find something that FITS!

On the other hand, they love Jim. He can walk into any store and find good clothes.

I am NOT fun to be around when we go to the mall to buy ME clothes and end up walking out with a whole bunch for Jim, even if you bribe me with NOT playing computer games and coffee.

There’s a reason they put the game store across from Victoria’s Secret. It gives men a place to go instead of waiting uncomfortably next to a rack of panties.

#1 lesson from the mall: Going home is the best part.