(If you want the short version of 2011 it would be: I got divorced. The end. Or maybe: I graduated therapy. The end. Or quite possibly: I got a dishwasher. The end.)

I’m not sure I can even put words to the transformation 2011 saw in me. I am a completely different person in every way. I think that it is because I am finally home in my own skin. It took life’s worst rejection for me to realize who I am and really accept and like myself. Being told I wasn’t worthy made me finally realize how worthy I really am. I now feel so free, so alive. Everything seems better, brighter, bigger and more fun. I have no way to say how thankful I am for where I am and I continue to be in awe of what my life looks like today. Every second of the pain I went through was worth being here and I think the last year shows that:

It seems like this was a year of celebration, which I love. Sorrow should always be mingled with joy.
We celebrated:
Amy’s 30th birthday (a surprise party with lots of pink, fluffy cotton candy.)
Eden’s 9th birthday
Mother’s day with carne asada and Red Mango and handmade presents from the children.
Alyssa’s engagement and bridal shower
Carrie’s birthday
Rickelle’s baby shower (and Gunnison being born)
Alyssa’s two weddings (the first I photographed and the second was the most fun wedding I’ve ever been to)
My 30th birthday
Honor’s 8th Birthday
Seth’s birthday
Amy’s epic Christmas party

We also embraced holidays in new ways:
April Fools Day – Honor participated for the first time – there were lots of taped faucets.
Passover – a tradition I will carry on.
4th of July - we celebrated by floating the river and watching the fireworks in the park.
Halloween – we celebrated by carving pumpkins, trick-or-treating and having an adult costume party.
Thanksgiving – we started a new tradition of eating pie in the morning and then celebrated with my aunt, uncle and cousins.
Christmas – we celebrated for the first time ever.
Hanukkah – still feeling our way through this one as non-jews.

Kids
The kids and I had the pleasure of being photographed by Cat Mayer.
•Eden graduated 3rd grade and started 4th. She and I ran the Girls on the Run 5k together. She went to church camp, learned to sew and embroider and brushed up on her knitting skills. She and Carrie published a real book together making her a (self) published author at the age of 9.

•Honor graduated 1st grade and started 2nd. He began reading chapter books and spent A LOT of time building things with legos and collecting bugs. Honor illustrated Eden & Carrie’s book.

Carrie
Along with Seth, moved in with us in August, forming a little, tight-knit community. Went with the kids and I to our first ever JUCO game, the drive-in movie, the lake and camped with us in the backyard. Saved us all in more ways than she will ever know.

House and garden
I planted peas, lettuce and broccoli and helped plant the community garden. Then my gardening efforts sort of fizzled out. I painted the steps to my house aqua as well as the dining room chairs. Carrie helped organize the whole house which feels amazing. I got a new (to me) couch and a new (to me) bed frame. I purchased and installed (all by myself!!) an new dishwasher which we had been without for the entire year.

Tangle
Tangle turned 5 and continued to prosper with our biggest year ever. We participated in Knit on the Corner for the 2nd year and added a few more teachers to our staff.

Travel
The kids and I made a few trips to Denver to visit my sister. We also went to Wyoming to celebrate my step-grandfather’s 90th birthday. I went to Wyoming to photograph my cousin’s wedding. Carrie and I took a couple trips to the hot springs in Ouray, once with kids and once without.

Crafting
Amy and I canned pickles, strawberry rhubarb jam and lavender peach butter. I also canned cranberry sauce. I sewed 3 quilts and knitted 3 blankets. Nearly every gift given was handmade this year. And I discovered pinterest.

Marriage
After many years of wanting to leave, Jim moved out. The kids hearts broke at a time that mine was finally healing. After a mandatory co-parenting class, we got divorced in October, just 10 days shy of our 12th wedding anniversary. In living through this, I learned what love really is.

Me
I did a lot of yard sale-ing with Amy, finally got an iphone, joined the board of the downtown association, tried to do a three week fruits and veggies only diet that lasted 5 days and stayed off grains (for the most part) for the rest of the year. Graduated therapy, went to a leadership conference and was reminded that I can do ANYTHING and make ANYTHING happen. Felt my community band around me when single-parenting got really hard. Started helping my friend look into how our city handles our homeless population. Decided to get really serious about working out and taking care of my body. Lost 15lbs, accepted the fact that I am kind of into fitness. Started dating. Helped my church start a free medical clinic. Turned into the person I was created to be.

A few of my favorite tweets to sum up the year:

I am so thankful for what I have been through and where I’ve come. I know I say it over and over, but I really can’t express how worth it ALL of this has been and how amazing it is to be on the other side. I have no clue what 2012 holds, but I am so excited for what’s next!

Pictures from Hanukkah and our Christmas movie marathon on Christmas Eve.

Honor set his ninjago up there to watch White Christmas.

I’d say a good time was had by all.

(I might have gone just a teensy overboard with the stockings…)

Carrie spoiled me!

Honor bought me a lifetime supply of gum. Eden picked out fingernail polish for me in shades of black and grey – the kid knows me.

Honor gets the award for best wrapping

I made Carrie new jammy pants with the caveat that she can’t wear them in public.

She’s thrilled with the iPhone case that she can cross stitch.

Honor made me the cutest card

I gave Dexter his new bone before we started opening up presents so he would leave us alone.

He’s naughty.

Carrie drew a christmas tree on the mirror over our presents so the presents would be under the tree.

See the whole set here.

Carrie was my date to our employee party at Tangle. I guess we partied too hard and she had to take a little nap.

Blurry as this was taken from the car. If you live in town, drive north all the way up 26 road until you reach this schmancy neighborhood. I’m not sure how I feel about the blue, but it was pretty spectacular.

Christmas present from my mom. Yes the salt and pepper really does come out where you think it might…

slightly blurry Seth and Carrie matching in their stripes

celebrating Hanukkah

celebrating Hanukkah

Carrie and I at an Ugly Sweater party. We have the sweater on display at Tangle and there has been some debate over wether it really is ugly, but I promise you, it’s ugly.

Carrie tells me I’m an overachiever. I actually think the problem is that I’m addicted to crafting.

Here’s the wrapping I chose for all of my presents this year. Just simple craft paper and damask tissue paper, sewn with the machine and tied with green ribbon. For the kids stockings I used regular black and white wrapping paper because even I am not that crazy. It was so much fun.

Here are some of the things I’ve been making these last few weeks:

Truffles we made for Amy’s party

Chocolate covered pretzels and the rest of the goodies from Amy’s party

Homemade jalapeño poppers for Amy’s party

Antipasto Skewers for Amy’s party

weenie shaped marshmallows

chocolate, almond, coconut cookies

pecan brittle and candy cane cookies

Yesterday, after school, I took the kids to Target, gave them each 20 bucks with instructions to purchase gifts for me and each other, and turned them loose. They zipped through the store, very excited, and turned up at the cash registers to purchase their gifts, handing me back the leftover change. When we got home they locked themselves in their rooms to wrap their purchases.

Honor’s looked like this:

So cute…
I’m so interested to see what they bought!

I’ve gone back and forth over if we would do stockings this year, but finally decided that we couldn’t pass up the fun. When I started thinking about having the children purchase gifts for the other members of our family, I decided that, yes, we were going to do stockings. I feel like it’s so important for them to realize that it’s not just about what they get, but about loving other people by giving them gifts too. And I want to teach them to be really intentional and thoughtful about the gifts they give.

Target shopping day will definitely be a tradition we keep up every year.

I’ve been in crazy crafting mode in my spare time. I’ve been helping my friend Amy make treats for her Christmas party, plus making gifts and treats to give. Here are a few that I’ve been working on:

PJ pants for the twinzies. They turn two next week, can’t believe it…

The pattern is KWIK SEW and the fabric is new at Tangle by David Walker. Can I just say that I LOVE kiwk sew patterns? They are so easy!

Peanut Butter Pretzels

Um, love these! They might be my favorite thing we’ve made so far! If you melt half a bar of gulf wax into the chocolate it stays nice and glossy.

Peanut Butter Balls

I’ve noticed that at Christmas time there are a lot of balls involved. I can’t tell you how many balls I’ve made… meatballs, truffles, peanut butter balls… just saying…

Candy Cane Cookies

LOVE THESE. My mom has made these every year since I can remember. So good.

There has been a lot more so more to come…

Gosh, things have been so busy for me lately… I’ve had lots to say and no time to say it!

I’ve been really busy with a new project. I started helping my church launch a free clinic and it turned into a part-time (volunteer) job. I’m now the administrator of the clinic! I know it seems crazy, but I’m loving it. I feel so strongly that health care is a human right (rather than a privilege) so working on the clinic falls right in line with those beliefs.

On top of that, it’s retail-crazy-time at Tangle, which I’m also loving! I love that my job is to buy yarn and fabric all day.

In the little spare time I’ve been finding myself with, I’ve been busy making gifts and treats. I’m still unsure as to what our family traditions surrounding Christmas will be. I was raised celebrating (and loving) Christmas. But never really celebrated it those 12 years I was married to Jim. In those 12 years I saw the reasoning and maybe value(?) in Jim’s beliefs surrounding the holiday. But I’ve also seen how it’s kept us from loving our friends and family in the ways they receive love. My friend Amy has an epic Christmas party every year and I’ve missed out on it. And I’ve missed out on showing her how much I love her by attending.

This year I’m faced with making new traditions for my family and I’m kind of at a loss. It’s times like this that I really feel my single-mom-ness. It’s hard to be the leader of a family when it’s a job meant for two. So this year we’re easing into Christmas. I’m trying to find my way and decide what our traditions will be. I’m trying to decide what I really think and feel and believe about the holiday so I can pass that along to my children.

I love presents. I love getting them and giving them and I love that this is a time of year to really show our loved ones that we love them by gifting them with something thoughtful. But I also hate how consumeristic it is (says the owner of a retail store). My kids are only getting one gift this year because they don’t need anything. They already have so much that they aren’t thankful for.

So I guess that’s the start of a tradition – one gift each… Showing our friends and family that we love them by participating with them… Buying gifts for those that are less fortunate… I guess we really are easing our way in. And I guess that’s they way I have to do it – the only way I know how.

On Thanksgiving we had pie for breakfast with the roomates (um, why is this the first year we’re starting this tradition?) Then went on a hike with the roomates and my mom. And then went to my Aunt’s for a delicious dinner with my cousins where I shoved my cousin into a corner and forced her to learn how to knit. I think a good time was had by all.

the children came up with this pose on their own

I’m so thankful to live in such a beautiful place.

Eden with my cousin’s new puppy.

More pics at flickr.