I really don’t know what to say, I’m still so steaming mad about it. I’ll just say this. I was TRYING to work on a website during nap time when Honor stealthily went into my bedroom where Eden was napping. He got into my black eye shadow and ruined my very cute sheets. Eden watched the whole time and didn’t tell me until the damage had been done. Honor was very happy with himself, as you can see. Lucky for him I knew I HAD to take pictures, you all would never forgive me if I didn’t.

No go ahead… laugh at my expense.

So we (actually JIM) did the dumbest thing this weekend. He took the side off Honors crib and lowered the mattress all the way down. Yeah, I told you it was dumb. I think Jim had a momentary lapse in judgment when he saw Honor crawl into Edens toddler bed and look up at him with pleading eyes. Honor is a whole year older than Eden was when she moved to a toddler bed. But. There’s a reason. The boy is uncontrollable. He’s a squirmy ball of energy that NEVER. STOPS. EVER.

My very last option of containment is now gone. Wanna guess how many times he got up (and got in trouble) from his nap yesterday? SEVEN… or was it eight? He’s gotten up so many times in the last 36 hours that they’re all blending together. He of course thinks it’s the greatest thing EVAR!! He can get up, he can crawl in bed with Eden and lay on her head. He can get a toy, he can open up the wipe box and take EVERY SINGLE ONE out and lay them on his bed, he can go running through the house and back as fast as he can in hopes that we don’t catch him before he gets back into his bed. Yes, this is just a sample of the last 36 hours of bed and nap times (which, by the way, is only one nap time and two bed times.)

I wonder how long he would stay up if I let him? That is an experiment for someone like a grandparent who likes him much more than I do and would be less likely to duct tape him to the wall out of sheer desperation.

Eden is watching blues clues and Honor just woke up. I just poured him some orange juice and stuck a waffle in the toaster for him. I love the way he gets so excited over his morning waffle. “Up! Up! Up!” he says until I pick him up so he can watch the toaster. We stand there while he says, “Hot, hot” until the waffle pops up. Every single time, he jumps in my arms. Even though he’s expecting it, it still scares him. A split second later, he erupts in excited laughter reaching for, “HOT, HOT, HOT.” I never knew a waffle could be so exciting.

“Mom, sometime when I get big, I’m going to have big, big, BIG boobs, like you and I can wear a bra.”

-Eden

Tonight I asked Eden to brush her teeth. After 20 minutes of running around, discovering, “look I’ve got two toothbrushes. I want to brush my teeth with the Jasmine tooth brush,” and then running out with both the Jasmine tooth brush and the My Little Pony tooth brush proclaiming, “My bear toothpaste is lost, I’m going to use your spicy toothpaste.” and then coming out to say that the spicy toothpaste was too spicy and that she lost their chairs to stand on and checking all rooms of the house for the chairs, she finally got her teeth brushed. (I know that was like the longest sentence in the history of the world, but I don’t care.)

I told her that she needed to go back and do a better job, because in the 20 minute course of preparing to brush, she only brushed enough to suck the “spicy” toothpaste off the brush and call it good. She went to brush more and then came out, struck a cheesey-grinned pose and said, “How about now?”

I just had this overwhelming sense of deja vu. My little sis and I would always play a game with our parents where we’d ask them how good our teeth looked. Most of the time we’d trick them into thinking that we’d actually brushed, when we hadn’t. It made me think, wasn’t it like five minutes ago that I was a little squirly kid who was trying to get out of brushing my teeth? And now I HAVE one of those squirly kids?

Jim and I both often wonder this, Who gave us kids?

Today when I was coming up from the basement after doing a load of laundry, I found Eden on the back porch daintily eating almonds. Honor was standing next to her drinking maple syrup straight from the bottle.

Honor told me yesterday that he was going poop, so I rushed him to the bathroom, pulled off his diaper and sat him on the toilet. We arrived just in time for the poop to plop into the toilet. And, after many congratulations, he was done. He hopped off and I wiped him. I flushed the toilet and as the poop swirled around the toilet, we waved bye bye to it. And in true Honor fashion, he air kissed the poop good bye. “Bye poo poo, mwah!”

So Eden picked up a bad word. Tuesday after dance class, she was at my friends house (the one I trade baby-sitting with). They were all walking outside to play in the wading pool when Eden said “Oh, Sh*t.” My friend was shocked and thinking that she couldn’t possibly have heard right, she asked Eden to clarify. And yes, Eden, in fact, did cuss! My friend had a long talk with her and Eden had to sit in time out.

We also talked to Eden that night about saying bad words. She never admitted to us that she had said something. So when Jim had the kids down at the church during band practice, you can imagine his embarrassment when Eden was playing with the microphone and said her new word. (Luckily for Jim, the microphone was turned off!) He asked her, “What did you say?” and she immediately became sheepish.

The funny thing is that it’s a word we NEVER say. I mean, never, ever! If she was going around saying, “Oh, crap,” I’d take full responsibility for that. My mom always admonishes that Eden will say “ass” when we’re at church. I admit, there is a distinct possibility. But this word? It’s just not a word either of us ever say. We’ve been wracking our brains and we can’t come up with anyone/thing who could have taught Eden her new word.

I’m calking this one up to the joys of having a kid who’s too smart for her own good.

Eden has been enjoying her ballet class so much. Today she called it her pink ballet class because she wore her pink leotard. Last Thursday it was her black ballet class because she was wearing her black leotard. Strangely this morning, she didn’t want to peel herself out of bed when I told here that we were going to go to ballet class. She said, “I just need to take a little rest.” And rolled back over.

We made it though, barely in time. I can’t believe how fast I got Eden to move when I told her we were going to be late for her dance class. Honor of course was as slow as possible. Which leads us to the hardest part of dance class: containing Honor for the VERY long 40 minutes. I’m starting to think that we made a mistake in naming him “Honor,” because it’s very similar to the word “Ornery.”

Here’s Eden with her friend Tasia on the first day of dance.

And the girls with their teacher.

Thanks to my friend Jill who took much better photos than I did.

On the way to bed, Eden let out a big, huge burp,

“My mouth tooted.”