I received this comment today on my post about church. I know who the person is that sent it, but I will keep the name to myself. (ip addresses tell a lot.) I tried to send my response via email, but the address provided was bogus. I am very upset by the fact that I know the person who sent this and that they would actually send this to me.

I find it sad that so many are looking for something that doesn’t even exist…….”The Perfect Church”. We’re putting conditions on what WE want the church to do for us, instead of who we need to become in order to bless other people. We don’t go to church to see what WE can get, we go to church to hear the Word OF GOD and to get equipped to help other people. It’s not about US. We’re suppose to rise above the complaining & moaning about us not getting our way all the time. There will come a time when we have to be accountable to Jesus himself for what we have done with our lives……….What will be your explanation or EXCUSE of why you didn’t go to the church where HE called you? I don’t think He’ll be very pleased when all we have are selfish excuses.

Here is my response.

I just wanted to say that I find this comment to be so incredibly rude and offensive. Not only did you obviously not read my post, but you have no right to tell me where GOD called me. I’m just so shocked that you would be so incredibly judgmental – it’s very disappointing.

I’m going to close comments on this, because I just needed a way to respond to this person, short of calling them on the telephone, which I may still do. I just want to say that people like this are why I hesitate to ever attend another church.

EDIT: I also want to say that anyone who lives in this town and knows me and thinks they might know who this comment is from. Please check with me first before making assumptions.

Jim was out of town all weekend, and I was surprisingly busy. I worked and taught a class and worked some more. Eden kept asking me, “Mom, can’t you go on the trip with Dad?” I’m glad she likes to have me around.

I did get to wear my very first sweater this weekend though. The picture isn’t the best, but it’s what you get when you have to take pics of yourself.

The pattern was a very screwed up one from Rowan. Even after I fixed it, it could have been a little longer. Oh, well, live and learn….

I also made another cabled bag awhile ago, but just finally took pictures,

and I made this braided scarf for the store.

I ordered our menorah the other day, I can’t wait for it to get here. I waited too long to order it last year and couldn’t get it in time. I’m really thankful to be able to give my kids something to observe during this huge holiday season. Eden, especially, has been so full of questions and I wanted to give her more answers than Jim’s “I hate Christmas.” (Explaining why Eden says “My dad hates Christmas” is really fun, let me tell you!) But all those inquisitive questions have stirred a lot of thought within me.

Each year that I don’t celebrate Christmas, it becomes easier to not celebrate Christmas. I’d even say that this year, I choose to not celebrate it. I’ve discussed this with many people recently and it seems most people who are uncomfortable with Christmas are uncomfortable with the consumeristic side of the holiday. I think I take more discomfort in the history of the holiday. (Although, doesn’t it seem strange to you that our whole society revolves around Christmas? The stock market revolves around good 4th quarter sales. Retail businesses can be made or broke by the Christmas season. People spend all year paying off their Christmas purchases, just to charge their cards back up again.)

I think the reason that I (and others) held onto Christmas so tight at first, is because of all the memories and all that it meant to me in the past. But I’m coming to believe that just because something has great tradition and it’s “what we always have done”, doesn’t make it worthwhile. There is no changing the history of how Christmas began and where it draws it’s traditions. I personally find it important to know the history of the holidays we celebrate, because by continuing to celebrate them we’re perpetuating that history – wether we know about it or not.

I believe that Christmas is ultimately a pagan holiday. Jesus’ birth was incorporated into that pagan holiday by the early Catholic church in order to make it easier for the “pagans” to convert. December 25th was not when Jesus was born. We don’t celebrate Jesus’ birth during this time because we’re just not comfortable incorporating paganism into our worship of God.

I think what it boils down to is being honest with yourself, even if that means not keeping the traditions you once did. Or maybe it means developing new traditions. I know that Christmas is a meaningful time to many people, even a time that brings them closer to God, and I’m glad that they have that. I think everyone must decide what is right for themselves and their families. I am thankful this year that I’ve come to this clarity of mind. It makes it much easier when I’m translating it into 3 year old speak.

We’ve decided to stop going to our church. Man, it’s been such a difficult decision – church shouldn’t cause this much stress! It just comes to a point where there’s so much weighing on you and you have to make a decision. We’ve been to so many churches in our married life and we really wanted to stick this one out. And we just couldn’t. Really we’re not leaving our church; our church left us. The whole entire pastoral staff is different than when we started going there. It’s a totally different place. And it’s really a lot more painful that I thought it would be.

So we’re left trying to figure out where we should be now. Although my bad experiences with church outweigh the good ones, I still feel it’s important (oh, how I wish I didn’t.) But I’m not going to play church anymore. I want something real. Church isn’t meant to be a place that does nothing but make you feel guilty and unwelcome. It should be just the opposite: accepting (really accepting) people for WHO. THEY. ARE. and accepting them with open arms.

There’s a few things I need and I don’t want to compromise on those anymore. (In order of importance.)

1. A church that is doing something BIG in the community. What is the point of church if it’s so totally inwardly focused that it doesn’t see the needs of the community around it? Feeding the homeless is WAY more Gods work than preaching a lengthy sermon.

2. A sense of community. I need to feel like I’m wanted and loved and like I belong. I don’t want to be another face in the crowd. I want to pour my heart into it, but I want to know that when I need something, it will be there for me too.

3. A safe, fun, organized place for my kids. (You’d be surprised how hard this is to come by.)

4.God. I see a trend in the post-modern church, and it kind of scares me. People come to church because they want God, and when they listen to the sermon and a Bible is not cracked open once, it makes me think that they’re not getting what they need. (I put this fourth because I can get this on my own. But I want a church that values the word of God above all else.)

5. I don’t even know if this belongs on the list, but it is really important to me. I want a pastor who respects my time. I think it is possible to preach a fantastic sermon in 30 minutes. The average adult doesn’t even have an attention span much longer than that. I find it to be disrespectful to keep a congregation sitting there for 2 hours.

I could probably add a lot more, but these are the deal breakers. Now I have to go about finding this imaginary place…. and isn’t that going to be fun…..