If my love for you was boobs, they’d have to make a bra for it so big that even Jupiter couldn’t fill it, the sun couldn’t fill it….

Honors head couldn’t fill it.

Monday
Taco Salad

Tuesday
Thai pasta salad

Wednesday
subway

Thursday
Grilled Pizza

Friday
Hot dogs! camping!

Saturday
eh, whatever….?

Sunday
Hamburgers

Jim’s oldest sister called today to tell us that their middle sister had a baby early this morning. We didn’t even know that she was pregnant. Without going into details, I’ll just say that she and Jim had a falling out right after Honor was born. It was the one and only time that she’s even seen him. Since then it’s caused the whole family to feel caught in the middle. They have been forced to choose sides, more often than not, it hasn’t been Jim’s side. (I don’t totally KNOW why, but I guess that they’ve been put in an impossible situation and maybe they know that Jim can take it? Because he can. I can’t, but he can.)

I’m writing today because my heart is broken. I’ve got two nephews that I’m just in love with that I never see and may never again see. I’ve now got a little niece that I will probably never know. My kids will never have the joy of growing up with their cousins. They will never know their aunt, who despite her problems, is such a cool person. It just kills me that our nephews probably don’t even remember us anymore. We couldn’t even send them a birthday present because no one would tell us where they were.

Today, that should be so full of joy over the start of a new life, is filled with so much sorrow and heart ache. It just really really hurts. Life just isn’t worth holding grudges. It’s not worth all this pain. It’s not worth our kids missing out on vital relationships.

I just want to say, wherever you are, we love you. We’ve always loved you and all we’ve ever wanted for you is happiness. If us not being in your life, means your happiness, then we’re willing to deal with that. But I just want you to know that we still care so very much. And that we care so very much about your children. It is my deepest hope that someday there can be healing in your relationship with your brother.

Yesterday the kids and I went to the lake with my mom and sister. I love going to the lake. I always forget how much I like swimming. I really really like to swim. Why, oh why, don’t we live in a place that having a swimming pool in our back yard is common place?

So we were at the lake and I discovered a frog. Well a toad really, but yeah… I’m not going to even bother to try to explain to the kids that there are toads and there are frogs. So this toad is a frog. So the frog. Eden insisted that I catch and hold the frog, but she wouldn’t touch him. Honor on the other hand was SO extremely excited to see the frog. “Frog! Frog! Frog!” He followed the frog all over the place. Each and every time the frog jumped right before Honor stepped on it.

As Honor put the frogs life in danger with every step, Eden observed, “The frog doesn’t say ribbit?” When Eden was first born, I had no idea how we were going to teach her all that she’d need to know. How was she going to know what a joke was? How was she going to learn how to communicate? How in the world would I explain every single aspect of life to her? I’m constantly amazed that she just learned all these things all by herself. Three years ago, she couldn’t do a single thing for herself and now she uses words like, “awful” and does things like climbing into the bathroom sink to wash her feet.

When we got home from the lake, Eden explained to her daddy that frogs don’t always say “ribbit.” And Honor came in to tell daddy what he did, “Sim, Sim, Sim!” Eden got two suckers because she dunked in the lake two times and Honor only got one because he only dunked once (not counting the time he tripped and was floating face first – don’t worry we were right there.) Eden’s already talking about when we can go to the lake again and occasionally Honor will throw in,
“Lake, Lake, Lake!”

Congratulations to Mama C-ta on the birth of Julian! He’s such a sweetie, Cara! You did good!!!

Eden is watching blues clues and Honor just woke up. I just poured him some orange juice and stuck a waffle in the toaster for him. I love the way he gets so excited over his morning waffle. “Up! Up! Up!” he says until I pick him up so he can watch the toaster. We stand there while he says, “Hot, hot” until the waffle pops up. Every single time, he jumps in my arms. Even though he’s expecting it, it still scares him. A split second later, he erupts in excited laughter reaching for, “HOT, HOT, HOT.” I never knew a waffle could be so exciting.

Because we were too lazy to get moving Friday and go camping, we decided to go up to the Grand Mesa Sunday for an evening picnic. (An interesting fact, the Grand Mesa is the largest flat-topped mountain in the world.) I CANNOT BELIEVE how many mosquitos were up there. It was unreal. The second we stepped out of the car, they swarmed us. All I have to say is thank God for deet. We managed to escape with very few bites.

The kids had a great time stomping on pine cones and throwing rocks. That and fighting with each other, I have a feeling it’s just beginning…

I thought that the kids looked cute dressed in matching gray sweatshirts, but Jim thought Eden looked like a boy. When I yelled at him for saying that, Eden said.

“It’s no problem. It was a joke.”

She’s so stinking cute. And Honor, well… he’s such a mess. Lucky for him he’s cute too.

We roasted hot dogs over the fire and by the time the fire died down, every mosquito on the mountain figured out that there was fresh meat just standing there. So we packed up and headed home.

I think next time we’ll opt for desert camping.

I was thinking of this the other day when I was making a spicy bean salad with pasta; I want to take on a little challenge for summer. I’m going to gather together 100 salad recipes. There are endless salad possibilities and I want to try them all. yum.

So here’s what I’d like from you, my faithful readers. Send me your salad recipes!

I’ve got just a few requirements.
*First that they only contain meat that is kosher, that means no pork, bottom feeder fish (shrimp, crab, lobster, catfish, etc…) Because I want to be able to eat it!
*Second, that you’ve tried the recipe and it’s yummy!

You can send your recipes via email to salads@pretendingsanity.com. Recipes can be in the form of a link to the recipe website where you found them or typed up. If you can include a photo, even better. If you mail me a photo, just send it in it’s original size. I can edit it myself.

I’m excited to see what kinds of salad concoctions you’ll be bringing my way!

EDIT: Here’s my salad progress so far. 100 salads

Monday
Chicken Fajitas

Tuesday
Chicken, rice and black bean salad

Wednesday
Taco Bell

Thursday
Dahl – if anyone has a good recipe, I’d love to have it

Friday
Tandoori Chicken Kebabs

Saturday
We’re going to a wedding

Sunday
leftovers

Be thinking of salad recipes, I’ll have more next week.

I finished the One Skein Wonder last weekend. I’ll post pics of it whenever the time correlates that Jim is here to take a picture and I don’t look like a slob.

Thanks to Joelene who inspired me to knit one and for the suggestions on changing the ribbing. Joelene’s the bestest!

Things are pretty even keel here, I’m just trying to figure out how to deal with a strong willed baby. Holy cow! is he a stinker these days. I know what it’s like to want your way, but come on HONOR! you’re not even two yet! My mom always said that my sister was in payment for my uncles childhood because he didn’t have any kids. I think I’m being paid back for my sisters actions as a child. NOT FAIR! But there’s one in every family right? I think it’s Gods way of keeping things….. interesting (and by interesting I mean… INSANE).

Have a good weekend everybody, I promise that I’ll be a better blogger next week.